on September 2, 2022
Mediation is an intervention employed during a dispute as an objective third party as a means of reaching a resolution. During the month of August, we at The Connect Group took a closer look into this intervention, specifically when best to use it (and when best not to!). In doing so, we arrived at 7 crucial conditions for mediation which are outlined below.
Mediation is an intervention employed during a dispute as an objective third party as a means of reaching a resolution.
- Consent from all Parties
Mediation is a voluntary process which requires mutual consent from all parties concerned throughout the process. In the absence of/retraction of consent, the mediation process must stop until consent is regained, or an exit certificate is granted, indicating non-suitability for mediation and a court referral.
- Preliminary Individual Sessions
Mediation is best initiated on the most neutral and objective grounds. This is best achieved through preliminary individual sessions with each party allowing for equal opportunity to ask questions, tell their story, get to know the practitioner & confidently consent to & trust the joint process.
- Absence of court order disallowing mediation
Any mediation process that takes place which is outside of the prescribed process of an order is in violation of the court. Honouring your court appointment process and court & practitioners is a legal requirement.
- Financial Contribution from all Parties
Mediation is a mutually consensual process best achieved through mutual financial investment too. In the absence of a contribution from all parties, the likelihood of noncompliance increases. Mediation parties who finance the sessions fully may also feel more entitled in session disempowering the non-paying party from authentic contributions. A contribution from all, in line with their income is therefore most recommended.
- Obligation to commitments from all parties
Continuous compliance to the agreements made through mediation suggest that parties are not suited to mediation. A referral to court is often best in these circumstances so there are legal ramifications to noncompliance.
- Matters disclosed are not in violation of the law or compromising safety
Disclosure of illegal action or harm to self or others requires an immediate referral to the police, court, or hospital admission to ensure the correct accountability structures are in place keeping the client(s) safe.
- Parties are able to work towards effective communication
If the parties are unable to use your guidance to improve their communication, the conflict remains too high, and mediation feels unproductive. An exit certificate is granted to parties who cannot communicate effectively. A court process is often recommended.
These conditions are necessary for an effective and productive mediation process. If one or more of these conditions is missing, we strongly advise the dispute be referred to and resolved in a court proceeding. If, however, all of these conditions have been met, then a healthy and productive mediation process can proceed!
These points have been transformed into a Court or Mediation flowchart which can be downloaded here for free!
Happy mediating!
Hi there,
What if there is a history of domestic abuse/violence while in the 5 year relationship, and then another 5 years post relationship there has been great effort to paint me unfit with multiple lawyers, social workers, a play therapist is used every so often when he has a new tactic (he considered her an expert witness, so would try get her to ‘see’ our daughters ‘issues’ that was because of me of course). disclosures x 3 of him emotionally and verbally abusing our daughter came to light in november 2021… I arrranged to meet to discuss her complaints. He stood me up, withheld her, lawyered up, and then approached the court with a 97% ficticious affidavit – I am not even exaggerating neither. This is what he does, he drags my name through the mud so badly… court ordered an investigation because on paper I look like I should be hidden from society – keep everyone safe you know.
Badisa Trio were designated to investigate. This will sound paranoid, but I am not – I have had since January 2022 to watch this circus – the social workers are dodgy. I reckon cash for play. And this woman is deliberately sabotaging me in court. There was one before her and she transferred to another branch. But same cloth they are. The reports are biased, they favour him and really focus on me as a problem – so out of context and ridiculous. I don’t have a lawyer.
They are pushing me to mediate. Parenting plan which I am phobic about – he’ll set me up for failure and have me arrested. Plus he wants PRIMARY CARER next t his name – some kind of trophy for him. I said ‘sorry, he needs to be investigated first – because no investigation has been done’. I actually feel a gag reflux just thinking about having to acknowledge him – this man is trying to break me. Right this second and for 5 years he has been obsessed with me – and not in the good vibes way. He doesn’t want to find resolve – he wants control. He withheld my daughter for 8 months based on his lies – I didn’t abuse our child, he did, yet again I take the fall for what he has done. This is a sociopath / narcissist that is alienating my daughter too. I don’t know how to make it all stop. What will appease him… he wants me to completely break or die.
20 October next court date.
I have been in touch with a DSD Western Cape Social Work Policy Developer – he contacted me after writing to the presidential hotline in June pfft.
I threw my toys out the cot via Badisa head office messenger earlier since my efforts to meet has been met with silence again.
Months ago I wrote to the whole of South Africa about this case – no one actually cares you know. I think that he has managed to finally win. Sorry, I am just releasing I see.
I am wondering whether I can get things postponed based on a technicality related to the biased reports. I audio recorded each meeting with the social workers. 1 each. no phone calls nor relevant emails – the “investigation” took 170 days vs 90 days. The audio, the info that I share regarding the narcs long history with violence and abuse and arrests with plenty evidence – all was noted but omitted.
My daughters disclosures were discussed to the SW on 17 February 2022. 12 July 2022 the new SW tells me that the other one did not investigate because she was not mandated to. She stuck to the form 2 / OTI. No, she did not even address those frivolous allegations despite it being her first paragraph per document. They omitted my childs allegations – also have the audio (I record important things so that I don’t get facts wrong – many years of being gaslit).
By law, they should not have just ignored this. I wrote email after email asking why the abuser gets full access and I had zero access… never had an answer until July.
I wish I could sue him and get some compensation for lost years in perpetual trauma. Sabotaged my studies… my life.
Be careful who you get involved with to those that are reading this.
Thanks for letting me just blab.
Hello Catherine- apologies for us missing this very important comment- it seems this was listed as spam- and very wrongfully so.
Massive empathy to you and your family as you traverse these waters.
As your comment suggests- the theoretical process is one thing but the reality is a bit more complex. Finding the right practitioner to confront this complexity with you is so key!