Questions on Gender Diversity

Discussions regarding gender and sexuality are becoming increasingly normalized in 2022. We at the Connect Group are all for it- we believe that through open and transparent discussion, we increase respect and diminish fear and prejudice! In support of these discussions, we dedicated the whole of September to Gender Awareness! To help us out, we asked gender studies expert Dr Piere Boudoir for his input to help guide our discussions and ensure our information was accurate and reliable.

Here are our top questions for promoting gender awareness…

1. What terms do I need to know about gender?

Gender and sex are two terms that are often thrown around nonchalantly and incorrectly. The difference between these two terms is however, crucial.

Sex refers to what you are biologically assigned at birth and is based on your external genitalia. Most often this is either male or female, but there are some people who are born ‘intersex’ where there is an intersection between male and female biological features.

Gender, on the other hand, refers to the roles, behaviours, attitudes, dress codes and practices that society prescribes to each sex. Gender is expressed, thus the term gender expression. Clothing, hair styles, the way one walks, job descriptions and even names are classified through the lens of gender- either feminine or masculine.

In summary speaking… sex refers to the biological aspect while gender refers to the social.

Another important term is gender identity, which refers to one’s overall identification with male/masculinity, female/femininity, intersex/androgyny or non-binary. This is best understood on a a spectrum, where there are several possible gender identities between the most extreme expressions of male and the most extreme expressions of female.

It’s important to note that people may choose to express themselves differently to what society has prescribed, and this is called gender non-conforming expressions. For example, someone who biologically identifies as a male, whom is prescribed that to behave masculinity may ‘not conform’ and therefore decide to express femininity through wearing dresses, make up etc.

Two other important terms often heard in the gender diversity discussion, is cisgender and transgender. Cisgender refers to someone whose gender identity is the same as their assigned sex. Transgender, however, is the opposite and is when someone was assigned a particular sex at birth but does not identify with that gender. Transitioning is the process of someone who identifies as transgender going through various processes to align their external expression to their internal identity. These processes are medical, legal and social. Often prior to transitioning, gender dysphoria is experienced, whereby an individual feels immense discomfort from not being able to relate or identify with their assigned sex.

The above definitions are all very different to sexual orientation, which is who one is romantically and sexually attracted to. This is an entirely different process and conversation to gender.

2. What does the research say about gender?

Dr Boudoir highlighted several key points from research on gender. The first was that gender exists on a spectrum. While many people do identify as either male or female, as the old binary system would suggest, a growing number of people rather identify somewhere along the gender spectrum, and do not conform to the more narrow gender expressions of the past.

Secondly, the research highlights that gender identity often emerges quite young, generally around the ages of 3-5 years old. By this age, many children would have developed a clear gender identity, and transgender or gender diverse children often can already sense they do not relate to their assigned sex and begin rejecting certain gender stereotypes. This can often be associated with high levels of discomfort and sadness. However, this is not always the case and for many other transgender and/or gender diverse individuals, they only come to a full realization much later in life.

3. What is the difference between respect and indoctrination?

This is a crucial question, and it is important to be aware that there is a finite difference between the two. Respect involves acknowledging everybody’s right to self-define and be who they wish to be, while actively choosing to gain more knowledge and understanding for those that are different to oneself. A common misconception around respect is that by learning about something you have to then prescribe to it. This is problematic and untrue.

Indoctrination, on the other hand, refers to the attempts to impose a particular set of ideas on other people. For example, pushing certain ideas of how a particular gender should dress in society or the public. It is important to note here, that challenging ideas is not the same as indoctrination. Often the motive behind indoctrination is to get others to believe what you believe, whilst the motive behind challenging ideas is to gain greater openness and understanding… Two very different concepts.

4. How do I reconcile my faith and gender diversity? Is it even possible?

This is a rather controversial topic, and while we do not claim to know the answer we thought that sharing Dr Boudoirs personal reflections on this question may prove helpful. He says ‘as a psychologist and social justice worker, I choose to accept that humans come in all shapes and sizes, and irrespective of my understanding of that, I believe welcoming all forms of diversity, extending beyond gender, is an expression of faith and love in action. Let’s all meet people where they are in terms of their self-identification, and welcome them and commune with them in all of their differences”.

We encourage believers to lean in to conversations about the reconciliation between faith and gender… as it is through these conversations that a more comprehensive and discerning answer is possible.

5. What does the law say about gender?

As with all other controversies, The Constitution of South Africa is used as the guiding legal document which outlaw’s discrimination of any kind, including gender. Additionally, the Promotion of Equality and Prevention of Unfair Discrimination Act allows for people to bring cases against those who discriminate on the basis of gender identity or expression in the equality courts. This is not a criminal process, however offenders can be issued fines or be made to apologize to the victims.

South African law also dictates that individuals have the right to change their sex descriptive (i.e., the gender they were assigned at birth) through the Department of Home Affairs. Individuals may also biologically transition after at least 5 years of consistent commitment to their gender identity.

According to the Children’s Act, access to sexual health information & family planning services are available without parental consent from the age of 13- as such exploration of gender identity & sexuality is accessible from health care professionals from the age of 13.

We encourage gender diverse or gender exploring persons to consider more than the law in their pursuit of their identity- social, familial, faith and cultural considerations (and sometimes defenses) help one transition well.

6. How do I ally myself with a gender diverse person?

An ally refers to those that are advocating and actively working for marginalized people groups (such as gender diverse people) to be included in all areas of society. These are not members of the marginalized group, but choose to stand in solidarity with the group. Being an ally is not about speaking for or over marginalized people groups; as an ally, your voice should always be secondary to the voices of those you are allying with.

So how can you be an ally? The most important thing to do is learn about and speak to the group you are allying with, relationship with and knowledge of is power. Your allyship should be aimed at building inclusivity and promoting awareness. As an ally, your role is to advocate for, support, and teach others about marginalized groups, but from the side-lines.

We know there is so much more to this conversation. We engage humbly, acknowledging that we too have so much to learn. So feel free to reach out if you want to ‘deep dive’ into the above questions and more.

We ally ourselves with the gender diverse community and invite you to book a session with us or another one of our favourite queer-friendly therapists and psychiatrists profiled on our Facebook and Instagram pages….